Susan's Story - is God really working?

Let me introduce you to a lady I'll call Susan. She's a real person in my life right now.

For those of you who don't know about how Nursing Homes are staffed here's the deal: If the company doesn't have enough workers 'agency' comes. They're hired by a staffing company and come when we are short. Agency is supposed to be 'experts' who can come into any facility and adapt to how it's run in a day or two and know most of the residents by name shortly. They get higher pay and us CNA's on the floor expect them to be 'sharp & smart & basically quick learners'.

Susan is agency. She's in her mid-50s.

She'd been working NOC's and I kept hearing about how 'bad' she was. I was curious. I don't really believe anyone's so 'bad'. Go ahead and call me naive. I try to see both sides of the coin.

Then she started working PM's. I'm planning to make a career change just because of the stress involved with this job already at this point but stress takes on another level now.

Do you have teamwork at your job?

If you do congrats. If not you might feel a little what I was feeling.

I draw the line with how understanding I am when you begin hurting other people with your actions. That's what happened with Susan. It's the little things that hurt people. Honestly I don't believe my coworkers were trying to hurt Susan but they did. Little things. Misunderstandings. I'm not going to say what was said/done.

Susan did make mistakes. She got worse the more stressed and frustrated she became. Alarms were left off. She denied it instead of saying she was sorry and wouldn't let it happen again when the nurse told her. People didn't get put to bed by 10pm either. It wasn't going well.

During this time when I was on the floor with her and my other coworkers I tried to help her with her transfers. I got put behind. I felt terrible. Charting wasn't getting done.

So everyone had 'a reason' to be mad. But not to hurt someone.

A couple nights ago Susan started crying while I was a residents room with her. Here's the low down: Susan lives in the city, she doesn't know what she wants to do besides be a CNA, she feels stuck with it because 'she doesn't know how to do anything else' because she's been doing it since she was 15 about 4 decades, she hardly has any work right now so she has little money, she has no car because her 'boyfriend' sold it but is borrowing a friend's, she smokes so her lungs are bad and she can't enjoy the simple things she loved as a kid -like riding a bike and just being active, and she's allergic to animals. Her life is a mess. She has kids but they're not helping and she's considering going to a homeless shelter!!!

She has opened up to me and I wish I could help.

So can God help her find HIM?
What about where she's going to live?
How can someone so close to retirement have nothing!?!?

I believe God's working in her life but I don't know it's going to end.
I have no clue where she's going to live!!!! If I had my own house I'd have her live with me for a couple months. But I can't.
I have no clue how she can have nothing. I can only say to everyone 'START SAVING!!!'

Ideas on ways I could help??? I would appreciate them. Leave a comment or tweet me at @PriscaElzen.

Here's Brandon Heath's song Jesus in Disguise. I feel like this right now. God's given me the grace to go beyond my human capabilities which would have long ago snapped at Susan and allowed me to love her. My eyes are being opened...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AXD3Xq6Z6U&feature=player_detailpage

Passionate about that!?

Are you passionately doing something you used to hate to do?

I am. About two things - trimming horse hooves and running.

Hooves really? I hated the idea of trimming them. It truely is an art and I didn't want to be responsible for hurting my horses. After all - No hoof, no horse. So I'm on the path of learning with them. My horses have been patient and forgiving. And now I really do care about the horses hoof. Even though I get headaches thinking about it all sometimes. I guess that must come from being passionate. :)

Also I've just finished runing a 1/4th of a mile. Big deal, you say. People run marathons all the time.

Yeah, well they don't get the 'fish out of water' feeling I get from exercise enduced asthma. I really try to get beyond the 1/4th mile mark. I just can't.

Does that mean I won't???

And that seems to be the problem with my life as a whole right now. I'm struggling with what dreams are the right ones to pursue. I don't believe in the word impossible. Never have, never will. I believe we have to try for things that we think are impossible and be willing to fail with the mindset that 'it's not right for us at this time or our life as a whole and we need to pursue what is'.

But sometimes that sounds a lot like failing. I guess it's the 'accomplish the dare' in me.

I will never be great at singing, running, sewing, medical terms, math etc. I can get better and learn to enjoy myself doing it but it's not something I should make a life purpose/career out of.

I'm afraid of heights but will climb if dared. Honestly, I think that's stupid of me...

I love working with farm animals, riding, educating people about where our food comes from, promoting 4-H, photography, writing, and talking about God (and belive me when I say I will talk about anything religious).

I can be good at cooking, crocheting, brainstorming, organization, gardening etc.

So what's worth working at? Should you really pursue something that doesn't interest you?
I don't think so. To be a world changer you have to be a driven passionate person about something. You have to have a vision. Start now. Start young. And don't wait until you're 50 to realize that - though better late than never.

And if your bank account hates you so what. Not everyone needs to be a millionare.